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my mother tells me to go to work sick, by no means take day off, and worry being fired each day — Ask a Supervisor

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A reader writes:

My mother as soon as informed me that what she does, and what I ought to do, is “go into work each single day satisfied they’re going to fireplace you in case you make a mistake.”

Additionally, a number of years in the past my mother had a lot PTO accrued that HR informed her that she legally needed to take day off or money in some PTO as a result of she had labored too many hours. We went on a 10-day Barcelona trip along with her cashed-in PTO.

As we speak, I’ve strep throat and a fever of 101 and my mother is apprehensive about me lacking work and thinks I ought to go in.

I’ve needed to work exhausting to reprogram myself with extra wholesome work/life expectations. I believe boomer mother and father can instill some very unhealthy values of their children surrounding work.

Don’t hearken to your mother.

DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR MOM.

Someplace alongside the best way, you mother picked up extremely poisonous and dysfunctional beliefs about work. Who is aware of the place — it may have come from her personal mother and father, or from some notably horrible employers, or from monetary insecurity that led to terror that even regular conduct may value her a job and jeopardize her well-being.

However what she’s telling you is terrible recommendation:

* Most employers don’t need you coming in with strep throat and a fever and infecting the remainder of your staff! (There are some exceptions to that, however these exceptions are horrible employers that you just don’t wish to work for.)

* No respectable supervisor — no even midway respectable supervisor — desires you fearing that you just’ll be fired in case you make a single mistake. (On the contrary, in lots of circumstances good managers need you to really feel secure sufficient to experiment and take cheap dangers.) First rate managers know that fearful workers are much less artistic, much less engaged, and fewer candid. First rate managers know they’ll lose good workers in the event that they govern by worry.

* Trip time is a profit that you just’ve earned, similar to wages or medical health insurance. It’s true that some employers make it tougher than others to take all of your PTO, however that’s an issue to be solved with that employer — it is not sensible to proactively resolve to not use any PTO simply in case you’re at a crappy employer that makes it powerful to do, since most don’t. (And even at these crappy employers that make it powerful to do, there are individuals who simply go forward and take day off and the employer offers with it.)

It’s true that some members of older generations can have some outdated and overly deferential concepts about work, however your mother is on the very excessive finish of that — sufficient of an outlier, the truth is, that I’d hesitate to label this a generational concern in any respect. There are tons of boomers who don’t suppose this fashion! She’s not a consultant of her technology on this regard, simply part of a small subset of individuals of all ages with really corrosive concepts about work.

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