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teen daughter desires to give up her new job, can we inform our sad coworker to go away, and extra — Ask a Supervisor


It’s 5 solutions to 5 questions. Right here we go…

1. Teen daughter desires to give up her new job due to unhealthy historical past with a coworker

My teen daughter, Artemis, is about to start out her first job at a brand new location of a nationwide chain. She’s been coaching at one other location whereas ready for hers to open, and to date, she loves the job, her supervisor (Demeter), and her coworkers. Immediately, she came upon {that a} very poisonous former pal, Apollo, with whom she has some actually unhealthy and considerably traumatic historical past, has additionally gotten a job there. She’s depressing about it, to the purpose that she’s contemplating quitting earlier than the shop even opens. I perceive – the historical past is way worse than the standard falling out, and he or she has excellent causes to be involved about bending the boundaries she has established round this individual. I might love to assist her perceive that working with troublesome folks is typically vital and provides her some concepts and expertise on how to deal with the state of affairs. (Please relaxation assured that I’ve no impulse or need to be That Dad or mum and attempt to intervene on her behalf; my purpose is to assist her efficiently advocate for herself.)

Clearly, the very best end result could be for them to not be scheduled on the similar time, however there’s actually no method of understanding or controlling that. I additionally strongly suspect that if Artemis had been to say, “Hey, Demeter, it’d be greatest if my schedule doesn’t overlap with Apollo’s,” she’s going to be the one to get the much less fascinating shifts. That is additional sophisticated by the truth that Apollo may be very charismatic and good at successful folks over, which provides further considerations about their means to come back out forward within the eyes of their coworkers if the battle ever turns into obvious. It additionally causes me greater than a bit of concern that it might give Apollo the chance to speak their method again into Artemis’ life, which might be unhealthy for her in various methods.

Do you have got any recommendation for tips on how to navigate this, both (a) because the self-advocating teen and (b) as her supportive guardian?

Assist her in quitting if that’s what she desires to do! Sure, it’s necessary to know that you would be able to’t management your coworkers and generally you’ll should work with troublesome folks … however this can be a highschool job the place the stakes aren’t that top if she’d simply desire to not, and highschool social dynamics could be actually messy in a method that most likely/hopefully received’t be replicated in her grownup profession, and anticipating her to work with somebody she has an upsetting historical past is like 301-level issue when she’s presumably nonetheless at 101 ranges in determining work (and if the historical past is full-on traumatic, that’s even worse). And admittedly, most adults wouldn’t wish to stick round on this state of affairs both; they’re simply extra prone to be trapped in it as a result of they’ve payments to pay.

It is sensible to speak by an array of choices along with her … but when she nonetheless desires to give up on the finish of that, she’s obtained my help.

2. Can we encourage our sad coworker to go away?

I work in a small division of 15 staff. Our boss has left a 12 months in the past for one more place in the identical firm. Two of us utilized for his place, and each had been rejected.

One of many rejected may be very indignant about it. I perceive it was an enormous disappointment. Nonetheless, it’s been virtually a 12 months, and he or she is getting angrier by the day. She is going to rant, snap at folks over small issues, shout in conferences and slam doorways. Any assembly that doesn’t please her is handled to an avalanche of “I don’t give a shit, do what you need, I finished caring.”

Truthfully, it’s exhausting to work along with her. And it’s not like she will’t go away — she has a extremely sought skillset, and lots of regional firms are hiring for that place. I’m tempted to inform her “for those who hate it right here, FFS go away already.” She’d more than likely get a elevate and the specified promotion in a brand new job. However no person dares to inform her that she must both go away or cease speaking about leaving.

We don’t hate her. We’d be completely satisfied to see her develop into new duties, however it’s not occurring right here and that makes everybody depressing. Is there any method we may gently inform her “we expect you’d be happier in a brand new job”?

Truthfully, “for those who hate it right here, FFS go away already” could be warranted at this level. Is there a purpose nobody is prepared to say that or a softer model? Or a minimum of, “It’s exhausting listening to this on a regular basis. Please cease complaining and snapping at folks”?

Additionally, this isn’t nearly limitless complaining (though that’s exhausting sufficient). Snapping at folks, shouting in conferences, and slamming doorways is an entire completely different factor, it’s utterly unacceptable, and none of you ought to be tolerating it. All of you have got standing to say “you must decrease your voice,” “you can’t speak to those who method,” “cease snapping at me,” and so forth. And also you all have standing to ask her supervisor to intervene too, as a result of that’s a horrible, hostile atmosphere to work in. (Not “hostile atmosphere” within the authorized sense, simply within the sense of “that is an indignant and unstable one who has been spewing hostility into your house for a 12 months and must be instructed to cease.”) Lots of people like this cease if somebody calls them on it clearly and bluntly. (And the truth that nobody has might be warping her personal sense of how she will behave.)

3. Whose duty is it to transform time zones when organising a gathering?

Whose final duty is it to transform proposed interview occasions to completely different time zones, the applicant’s or the hiring supervisor’s?

I’m on a tiny crew based mostly on one coast, however our crew is essentially distant and we’re hiring for one more distant worker. I’m helping my supervisor with interviews, and once I emailed a candidate about interview occasions, I despatched occasions in my time zone with out checking his location, which is on the opposite coast of the U.S. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t consider this forward of time, however I additionally know that my private expectations to catch all particulars earlier than they change into an issue are unrealistic. Whereas I might have preferred to catch this earlier than it triggered an issue in the present day, I believe the ultimate duty to note the time distinction rests on the applicant who selected to use to an organization on the opposite facet of the nation. Am I proper or did I’ve the duty to verify every applicant’s location and convert the occasions earlier than emailing them to schedule an interview?

Your duty isn’t to transform the occasions; it’s simply to notice what time zone you’re utilizing whenever you listing the time. For instance, I’m on the east coast and if I’m organising a gathering for two:00 with somebody, I’m going to to jot down “2 pm ET.” Point out the time zone you’re utilizing, they usually can convert that nonetheless they want.

All that mentioned, ideally somebody making use of for a job throughout the nation would take into consideration time zones on their finish and ask to make clear if one isn’t specified.

4. Are you able to be fired for dressing inappropriately?

Is it attainable to get fired for inappropriate costume within the workplace? It may very well be horny, too young-ish (stupidly so, like a sixth grader), too casual, and so forth.

I’m considering of Caitlin Bernier who was supposedly fired from an Alberta Honda automobile dealership for sporting an inappropriate white prime that confirmed her bra beneath it. She was solely there for 2 weeks and was on probation. Even with out probation, are you able to be fired for dressing like that?

Basically, sure, you could be fired for dressing inappropriately at work.

It’s additionally authorized to have completely different costume codes for women and men, so long as neither is extra of a burden on one intercourse than the opposite. In apply, although, they’re virtually at all times extra burdensome on ladies regardless that they’re not speculated to be, and it’s solely actually excessive variations in burden that find yourself getting prohibited. And naturally, this utterly ignores the existence of non-binary folks.

That mentioned, within the case you’re referencing, there’s some dispute over what she was really fired for. I don’t know sufficient concerning the case to touch upon that (and am skeptical that anybody outdoors the folks concerned does).

5. The job I interviewed for a month in the past has been reposted

I had a second-round interview for a job I wished with the VP however obtained ghosted afterwards. That was over a month in the past however I simply noticed the similar job posted on their LinkedIn web page. Ought to I attain out to the VP once more reiterating my curiosity within the position or will that appear determined and I ought to simply transfer on?

Transfer on. It’s not that it’s going to look determined, however they already know you’re since you interviewed for the job. Contacting them now isn’t going to make them bear in mind you exist; they already know, however for no matter purpose they’ve chosen to not transfer you ahead.

In the event you haven’t executed any follow-up since your interview a month in the past, you could possibly ship one e-mail now simply asking for an replace on their timeline for subsequent steps (since you would possibly get some helpful data by doing that). However for those who’ve already checked again in since that interview (and I’m guessing you have got because you talked about they’ve ghosted you), you then’ve obtained to simply assume you didn’t get the job and transfer on.




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